10 Ways to Be a Better Donor

As a grant maker, I believe common sense and courtesy go a long way in strengthening ties between donors and nonprofits. I recently offered advice to nonprofit leaders about what they should do when meeting with donors.

Now, I’d like to follow up with tips for donors. As a donor myself, I know donors sometimes have expectations that can be difficult to manage. Here are ways you — the donor — can build successful relationships with the groups you support.

1. Just say no. Most donors get overwhelmed by unsolicited grant requests. If you are not interested in further communication with a hopeful grantee, say so with a few polite sentences as quickly as possible. That’s not always easy to do, but a prompt release saves everyone time and energy.

2. Avoid the temptation to be the smartest person in the room. You may be nimble intellectually and may have earned a fortune, but remember, you are talking to people who have dedicated themselves to studying and addressing an issue or challenge. This is your opportunity to listen, learn, and ask questions. A direct correlation exists between respect and efficacy — the more a donor respects his grantee’s intelligence and expertise, the better the relationship will be ― not to mention the impact of your dollar. This is not the time to flex your intellectual prowess. I heard one tale of a wealthy 29-year-old entrepreneur who used an informational session to jockey for alpha male superiority with an expert who was 30 years his senior and 100 years older in terms of exposure. Leave your ego at the door.

3. Do what you say you are going to do. Don’t give in to the temptation to promise more than you can give. Enthusiasm for a cause is genuinely appreciated, but money is what fuels any nonprofit, so give within your means. Every grantee I interviewed for this piece told me how awkward it was to ask for unfulfilled pledges, or how much time was spent chasing down promises. The failure to produce a pledge can hurt or eliminate valuable programs, waste staff time, and wreak havoc on an organization’s budget. At best, it’s a careless move, and at the worst, it’s self-indulgent and damaging. This is not about your ego, hedging that more money will be available, changing your mind, or competing with another donor — it’s about fulfilling a commitment.

4. Don’t treat grantee staff members as your own. It is not appropriate to use your grantee’s employees as personal assistants. I have heard some amazing tales about entitled behavior involving donors asking for personal favors — like walking the teacup chihuahua during a meeting, making a personal appointment, or fielding midnight brainstorming calls. Be mindful of boundaries, and remember that many nonprofit staffers work long hours for little pay. That kind of behavior sends a strong message to your grantees that they are subordinates, not collaborators. This impression will not foster healthy long-term partnerships.

5. Ask about the worst-case scenario. If you are considering financing a program or giving a large pledge, ask what happens if things go wrong, and determine the chain of command in such an event. It makes sense to do that before you draw up the paperwork for a pledge. It doesn’t mean you expect the project to fail, just that you are looking at all angles. Transparency benefits everyone, and it is up to you to ask for that kind of relationship.

6. Don’t be a bully. If you have a problem, be tactful and clear. Don’t start a conversation about challenges by threatening to pull your funds. Follow a civil line of communication, and give the organization a chance to respond. Better yet, ask about rules of engagement before offering a gift.

7. Consider making unrestricted gifts. Supporting overhead is not sexy, but it is necessary. This is a hot topic these days, and it’s worth discussing with your grantees. Giving an unrestricted donation is a great way to enter a new partnership with an organization when you are not sure what to fund — you can refine your giving from there.

8. Stay informed. Digging deeper than annual reports and 990s is critical. Read trade publications like this one, philanthropy writers, and relevant professional blogs. Keep abreast of nontraditional forms of support — like impact investing or program-related investments. Consider following the big foundations on social media, along with your grantees. It’s amazing what good and pertinent information turns up on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and even Instagram. For example, Darren Walker at the Ford Foundation has an excellent newsletter and Twitter feed.

9. Don’t be afraid to change. If you have a successor foundation as I do, you inherit entrenched patterns from several generations. Each generation builds on the next, and priorities change. My philanthropy is not my grandparents’ or my parents’. For example, we moved away from big institutions to work with smaller ones. We have a simple website and are interested in collaborating with other family foundations — two things my parents would never have considered. I volunteer differently than they did and work on projects instead of serving on a board. It’s OK to shake the tree. That said, if your foundation shifts its mission away from organizations it has historically supported, make sure to give ample advance communication so nonprofits can adjust.

10. Give thanks. If someone has done a good job, acknowledge it. You would do the same in your personal or business life, and it should be no different for your philanthropy. Tangentially, make an effort to remember staff names and personal details. This sounds basic, but you’d be surprised how often it’s overlooked in the rush to do “good.” And if you forget names and faces — say so, apologize, take note, and move on.

Isa Catto welcomes suggestions for future topics. She is an artist and executive director of the Catto Shaw Foundation.