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Handle a ‘No’ Gracefully, and Other Tips From Big Donors

By  Maria Di Mento
July 6, 2016

Bruce and Suzie Kovner give generously but have serious concerns about how some fundraisers approach philanthropists.

When Mr. Kovner lost a beloved sister to breast cancer 25 years ago, a fundraiser from a medical-research institution wasted no time in contacting him with a Photoshopped mock-up of his sister’s name on a building. Horrified by this approach, Mr. Kovner turned the fundraiser down flat.

Drawing on their own experiences, the Kovners have some advice to help fundraisers avoid such miscues:

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Bruce and Suzie Kovner give generously but have serious concerns about how some fundraisers approach philanthropists.

When Mr. Kovner lost a beloved sister to breast cancer 25 years ago, a fundraiser from a medical-research institution wasted no time in contacting him with a Photoshopped mock-up of his sister’s name on a building. Horrified by this approach, Mr. Kovner turned the fundraiser down flat.

Drawing on their own experiences, the Kovners have some advice to help fundraisers avoid such miscues:

Build ties to the donor

Mr. Kovner says fundraisers should never consider seeking a big gift unless they have taken the time to get to know the donor well. Give a prospective contributor enough information to understand the cause and develop a strong interest in it.

Serving on the boards of many nonprofits, Mr. Kovner practices what he preaches, only raising money from peers when it’s for a cause he knows a friend will want to support.

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“When I ask for money it is only after I think that giving money will be a real pleasure to the giver,” he says. “I want to reach a point where the giver actually wants to give the money because they see how effective it will be in doing things that are important to them.”

Handle rejections with grace

Ms. Kovner, a former fundraiser, says it is as unpleasant for donors to say “No” as it is for fundraisers to hear it.

But “the better you take it,” she adds, the more luck you’ll have approaching the same person again: “The next time I see you, I won’t feel awkward, and I’m more apt to reconsider a gift if you’re a good sport about it.”

Don’t treat rich donors like an ATM

“As soon as you’re objectified like that, you have no interest whatsoever in being part of that, if you will, transaction,” says Mr. Kovner.

“Never treat a prospective donor as a dollar sign. Always treat them as a human being who has to be engaged on a personal and intellectual level.”

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A version of this article appeared in the July 6, 2016, issue.
We welcome your thoughts and questions about this article. Please email the editors or submit a letter for publication.
Major-Gift FundraisingFundraising from Individuals
Maria Di Mento
Maria directs the annual Philanthropy 50, a comprehensive report on America’s most generous donors. She writes about wealthy philanthropists, arts organizations, key trends and insights related to high-net-worth donors, and other topics.
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SPONSORED, GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY

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