The stories you are about to read are true. They are a select few from hundreds of emails I have received from clients I have coached and from leaders of small nonprofits worldwide. Sadly, I have an ample supply. These stories have been altered a bit to allow for anonymity.
My mom passed away Monday morning. It was not unexpected but more sudden than expected. I emailed my board chair first thing. She sent me a text offering condolences. And in the same text, asked me to be sure to be on hand for the Executive Committee meeting the following day. The same text. Hours after I told her that my mom had passed away. At least I was smart enough to respond by saying that I would be on bereavement leave. I imagine this will be held against me at some point.
A new board member recently joined our board. She loves the organization, but she is not a fan of me. She has been meeting with staff members trying to unearth negative feedback about me as a manager. The board chair is reluctant to rein her in... Oh, did I mention that she applied for my job and didn’t get it?
My board chair set up a meeting two weeks ago with a secret committee (secret to me) to direct staff cuts. That would be my staff. He has not taken any action, but since then he has refused to meet or speak to me. Yesterday he came to a committee meeting, went off the rails, and was verbally abusive to me and two staff members. Other board members apologized to us later but did not call him out in the room. There are zero guarantees that I will not be treated like this again.
My board president announced at our meeting that the board had already voted to change my job description, which made it seem like I was demoted. No advance notice, no explanation. And after 20 years of excellent performance evaluations.
I have a board member that keeps making advances to one of my staff members. I heard about it secondhand because my staff member felt there would be retribution if she ratted out the board member.
Six months ago, my board chair’s husband filed for divorce, leaving her for a younger woman. Since then, she has felt powerless in every aspect of her life, it seems, except as the board chair of the school I run. She has been micromanaging, interfering with staff decisions, and making my life miserable. Recently, I made a few missteps, none of them were seen as catastrophic — except by her. She saw an opportunity to “lead” and used her power to build alliances with several board members. They rallied the troops and last week called for a vote to oust me. I survived; my board chair was one vote shy. She immediately quit the board, but I feel demoralized and humiliated.
As these examples — which are just the tip of the iceberg — show, we’ve got a big problem here. We often talk about board members who aren’t clear about their roles. However, it’s time to talk about an existential challenge too many boards present: the pure, unadulterated abuse of power.
From my vantage point consulting with hundreds of nonprofits and supporting thousands of leaders in my Nonprofit Leadership Lab, we have an epidemic on our hands, one that is responsible for more executive director attrition than any other factor.
But do we hear about it? Nope.
These abusive power dynamics give leaders little choice but to throw in the towel; usually no one is the wiser. Too often the only outcome is that good, even great, executive directors leave the sector or head to a new gig with a robust case of PTSD that thwarts their ability to develop a trusting partnership in the future. This is perilous because the vitality of a nonprofit rests on a trusting partnership between the board chair and the executive director.
Without borders or boundaries, board members can, and do, go rogue. Let’s examine the examples.
Do you see evidence of mutual trust? No.
Do you see board leaders who are blind to the imbalance of power? Yes.
Do you see board members who see something and say nothing, fearing a chance to be bold? Oh, yes.
The last question points to a real irony. Trustees sign on to help an organization change the world. You’d think they would have a modicum of courage and speak truth to power.
I see game playing, too. Building alliances, trying to vote an executive director out. This is frighteningly common. It’s why I’m an avid student of the reality show Survivor: I’ve never missed an episode (which I don’t always admit). It is an abject lesson in power dynamics: how they shift, how alliances work when you want to show power by targeting another, and how building an alliance can get a job done.
These dynamics and the examples above make me furious.
I’m furious about how nonchalantly board members are recruited. I’m furious that trustees don’t understand the joy and privilege of their service. And I’m furious that organizations with noble missions are soiled by individuals who serve for the wrong reasons and then go rogue, keeping everyone in the organization from tending to their work.
And I’m furious that board members, left to their own devices, abuse power because nonprofits recruit from a place of desperation, undersell the responsibilities, and provide no training to trustees.
These ingredients are surely a recipe for a clueless board. Even worse, they are a recipe for an abusive board.
Best-selling author Brené Brown calls all of this “power over” vs. “power with” and says: “Power over is despotism — it is when individuals make decisions that benefit the privileged and limit the rights of those over whom they rule.”
We need to change our cultures so board members adopt a “power with” frame of mind and abandon the “power over” mindset. The key to a thriving nonprofit is a board that “leads with,” creating an army of leaders, board and staff, each playing a key, but different, role.
How to Change the Power Dynamic Between Boards and Executives
The first step is speaking out — both nonprofit executives and trustees — and airing this dirty little secret about the nonprofit world. The folks most affected may not feel they have agency to speak for themselves, but I’d encourage leaders experiencing dysfunction to break their silence. And any of us with the privilege and agency to challenge abusive boards should speak up and call out bad behavior in its tracks.
Boards must recruit members with care, focusing on core attributes, working collaboratively and with respect for others. Trustees should demonstrate a humble confidence and ensure they are joining the board for the right reasons.
Boards must introduce a greater level of peer accountability. If a board member is abusing her power with staff, the likelihood that fellow board members have experienced challenging behavior, too, is high.
Board members should check in with executive directors over coffee or lunch. If a situation is as bad as the examples above, the executive director will hand you enough clues to begin a conversation with fellow board members, mobilize, and take action.
Of course, we’d like to think executive directors would speak up, but sadly we all know better. Going public about the behavior of your current or previous board may not be something you are comfortable doing. Share your stories at chronicle@joangarry.com. I will listen and try to offer some solutions. And I will continue to raise my voice. Like a good nonprofit champion, I simply can’t sit idly by.
Joan Garry leads a nonprofit consulting firm, is the author of Joan Garry’s Guide to Nonprofit Leadership, and was executive director of GLAAD.
