Although he has spent his entire career — almost 40 years — in fundraising, Brian Saber often felt like he didn’t belong in the profession he chose. Saber is an introvert. He dreads public speaking and small talk. Special events, a mainstay in fundraising, are a challenge. Saber prefers one-on-one conversations and describes himself as somewhat shy. Over the years, however, Saber has evolved from seeing his introversion as a handicap to seeing it as a real benefit in fundraising.
“We’re different,” he says. “We’re not less than.”
The turning point came in 2010, when Saber developed the Asking Styles — a personality test for fundraisers — with his former business partner, Andrea Kihlstedt. The quiz asks a series of questions about fundraisers’ preferred ways to interact with others and how they process information. The results divide respondents into four groups, with half extroverted — Rainmakers and Go-Getters — and half introverted: Kindred Spirits and Mission Controllers. Each group has unique skills and preferred methods of working. Understanding his own skills helped Saber feel more confident in what he brought to each donor meeting.
“That’s when I had the ah-ha moment as to how good a fundraiser I had been,” Saber says. “That’s what I’ve been trying to share with everyone else since: more of an understanding of our various strengths, with a little bit more of a focus on the introverts, since we get overlooked.”
Last fall, Saber compiled his learnings and observations into a book, published by his fundraising consulting firm, Asking Matters. Fundraising for Introverts: Harnessing Our Powers for What Matters offers a roadmap for introverted fundraisers trying to navigate a career that can sometimes feel unwelcoming.
The Chronicle spoke with Saber, who shares advice to help introverts lean into their best skills and minimize their deficiencies. He also had some pointers to help managers make sure they don’t do their organization a disservice by overlooking introverted fundraisers.
Maximize Your Listening Skills
Ask someone to picture a fundraiser, and they probably won’t think of an introvert. Yet, introverts excel at one of the most critical skills in fundraising: listening.
“The goal in fundraising is to learn about our donors so that we can cater to them, so that we can build a stronger relationship between them and the organization because we understand their needs and desires,” Saber says. “If we’re doing all the talking and spending most of our time with donors bragging about our organizations, we’re learning very little about our donors.”
In his book, Saber presents a hypothetical situation in which a donor expresses concerns about an organization’s mission or programs. Rather than spewing out facts to refute the donor’s feelings, Saber writes, “What’s most important here is to continue listening, to say you hear what the donor is saying, and to ask further questions to better understand what the issue is.”
Introverts — especially those like Kindred Spirits who place special emphasis over connecting deeply with others, or Mission Controllers, who prioritize learning and planning — are better able to hear a donor out during tough conversations.
Identify Your Sticking Points
Saber gained deeper self-confidence by understanding the settings in which he did his best work. “Understanding your style really can give you a road map and a good heads up as to how meetings and discussions will unfold,” Saber says.
If you’re an introvert who struggles with small talk — as Saber is — you might identify the chitchat at the start of donor meetings as a particular challenge. As you prepare for a meeting with a donor, you might also draft a few social questions about the donor’s children or recent travel to relieve the pressure of having to come up with on the spot.
“I found if I wrote down a series of questions in advance, I could recall them in the moment rather than having to create them on the spot,” Saber writes.
Buddy Up
Strong communication is essential when a fundraiser is working to secure a gift with a colleague. The reality for many fundraisers, Saber says, is that they work on small teams and typically partner with whomever is available or has an existing relationship with the donor. “You need to understand who you are and how you’re going to partner,” he says. This helps fundraisers identify their own skills and also communicate their needs better to others, especially extroverted colleagues.
Ideally, the fundraiser would get to choose who they work with, such as a director of development choosing which board member to join them in soliciting a gift from a prospective donor.
“You might choose someone who’s from a similar industry or background or who knows the person socially,” Saber says. “But you might also think in terms of what would complement you and what, in terms of the rhythm of the conversation, might work.”
If you know you have trouble with small talk, for example, choose an extrovert who can jumpstart the conversation.
In his book, Saber gives the example of his longtime fundraising partner, Ron Manderschied. The ying to Saber’s yang, Manderschied is an extrovert who took the lead on making calls while Saber handled the organization and research aspects of fundraising.
“Though I can be a great conversationalist once I’m in my groove, I really find meeting new people anxiety-provoking,” Saber writes. “Knowing that Ron would open the meeting and give me some time to get my footing was very helpful.”
Saber and Manderschied’s skills were complementary, allowing each support when they needed it or space to shine.
Even when you can’t pick your partner, Saber recommends spending some time thinking through scenarios before the donor meeting. “How’s that meeting going to unfold, given our styles? How can I assign our roles based on our styles? How can we help each other to ask the right questions, be quiet, follow up appropriately?”
Fundraisers need a vast toolbox to do their job well, and they may find some tools easier to use than others. Early in his career, Saber wondered if the challenges he felt in some aspects of his work meant he’d chosen the wrong career. Now, however, he recognizes that there are simply skills that come easily to him and others that don’t.
“What’s easier for you and what’s not easier for you?” Knowing the answer to that question, Saber says, and spending extra time preparing for what’s difficult, will help fundraisers unlock their full potential.
Managers, Recognize Value
Saber recognizes that being an introverted fundraiser doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s important that extroverted managers and colleagues make space for the unique perspectives and strengths of their introverted fundraisers and donors.
“Introverted fundraisers keep telling me how they are being devalued,” Saber says. Managers sometimes overlook the quieter ways that introverted fundraisers build connections, such as through thoughtful email communications with donors or spending more time researching prospective donors before contacting them.
“It’s so hard to find directors of development. There’s a huge challenge in our field,” Saber says. Leaders who discount the different contributions of introverts — either when interviewing introverted job candidates or managing introverted fundraisers — are risking losing out on good talent, Saber says. “That is not going to serve your organization well.”
(To see what advice Saber offered fundraisers during a recent online chat, see the Chronicle’s LinkedIn discussion.)
