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Why You Should Never Rush a Donor

By Sunil Oommen, as told to Eden Stiffman
February 27, 2015

Sometimes with the end of the fiscal year coming up, there’s an intense amount of pressure to close gifts and make goal.

One time, I remember I was on the phone with one of the donors I got to know over the past couple of months, and because I felt that intense pressure, I encouraged the donor too fast to make a significant upgrade gift in time to make our year-end [goal].

I did get the gift. But in truth, I was the one who paid for it. The donor complained to my bosses that he was pressured to make the gift, and he ultimately requested someone new to work with the following week.

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Sometimes with the end of the fiscal year coming up, there’s an intense amount of pressure to close gifts and make goal.

One time, I remember I was on the phone with one of the donors I got to know over the past couple of months, and because I felt that intense pressure, I encouraged the donor too fast to make a significant upgrade gift in time to make our year-end [goal].

I did get the gift. But in truth, I was the one who paid for it. The donor complained to my bosses that he was pressured to make the gift, and he ultimately requested someone new to work with the following week.

So I learned through that very early lesson that I was not being donor-centric. I failed to listen to the donor and hear what was really going on for him.

And now, because that was a tough early lesson for me, because I’m so Type A myself, and I want to do the best possible job, I always make it a point to listen for what the donor wants. Because it’s their money, it’s their personal investment in our cause, and it’s their choice at the end of the day how they want to make an impact in the world.

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Another time, we were sitting down with a big donor and he immediately said he wanted to cut to the chase, skip over the whole case-making section, and get to the ask. So we did. And the donor immediately balked at the ask.

Why? Because we didn’t make the case.

Now, it can be hard to tell a Type A donor that you think it’s in his best interest to hear the case—at least a brief summary of the case. But if you want to salvage the original ask amount, it might be worth it. It ultimately depends on the nature of the relationship.

Sometimes I use an analogy to make my point with donors: If you go to a restaurant, sit down, and immediately the waiter approaches you and says “$150.76,” you may wonder what that’s for and balk. You don’t know what you’re getting for it. That number came out of nowhere. However, if you check out the menu, maybe even get suggestions from the waiter as to what may suit your tastes, and you know how much those items cost, the final bill won’t be a surprise.

Those are two examples that I think happen to all of us at some point in our fundraising careers. It’s important to always make the case and to listen to the donor. At the same time, it’s also important to keep in mind what the organization needs, keep the original goal in mind—and push back appropriately if the relationship warrants it.

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Read other items in this How to Make the Most of Your Meetings with Big Donors package.
We welcome your thoughts and questions about this article. Please email the editors or submit a letter for publication.
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