To the Editor:

Bobbi Dempsey’s op-ed “I Grew Up Poor and Learned Early: Charities Aren’t Always So Charitable” (February 5) rang true for me, given my own childhood.

icon of an envelope in a bright gradient on a black background.

I was raised by a single mother. My dad wouldn’t have paid child support without constant, weekly begging, so, like Dempsey, we managed without that money.

Although we qualified for SNAP, or “food stamps,” as they were then known, it was years before my mother applied, due to shame. When she finally did apply and received food stamps, she drove to the other side of the city to use them, afraid someone we knew would see her. She was so embarrassed that we never used food stamps again.

The experience shows how society already places so much shame on low-income people. Nonprofits should ensure they don’t add to that and, as Dempsey suggests, treat them with dignity and grace.

I now work for a nonprofit that serves families and children. When I first told my mother the organization’s name, she said it sounded similar to a children’s institution she was once placed in and evoked horrible memories of her treatment there. When my employer changed its name, I think she was more pleased than anyone. This proves Dempsey’s point: Poor treatment from nonprofits isn’t forgotten.

As Dempsey explains, “economic hardship can befall any of us — even nonprofit staff members. If staff members recognize this and dismantle narratives that suggest they are somehow different from those they serve, it’s easier to build empathy and effectively serve.”

I’ve seen this firsthand: Just as waitresses are the best tippers, staff and donors who have experienced hardship are the most generous supporters. After all, they remember what they’ve been through.

Valerie Lambert
Director of Annual Giving
Akin