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Many years ago, on a sunny Saturday in Meridian Hill Park in Washington, D.C., a few friends and I reflected on how lucky we were. A strong support network had allowed us to “make it” — first apartments, steady paychecks, and jobs that affirmed we had something to contribute to the “real world.” How many young women lack such support? Could we help create it?
Inspired, I reached out to friends working at an orphanage in Haiti — a society where gender plays a clear role in the available opportunities. With a dedicated group of women in D.C. and Haiti, we built Write to Be, a nonprofit providing mentorship and skills training to young women in Les Cayes, an oceanside city on the country’s eastern end.
Our board included future senior staffers to Republican congressional leadership and the Biden administration. We collaborated with Haitian leaders to shape the curriculum. Our U.S. and Haitian program participants came from a variety of religious and socioeconomic backgrounds. Each shared talents and gifts that made our programs stronger.
A diverse group of people, united by a shared goal, built a Fi Ki Fὸ (“strong girl” in Creole) community that has served more than 150 women and girls and is still going strong a decade later.
I did not fully realize it then, but I do now: There is power in working together to bring people together.
Crisis of Connection
Experts warn we’re facing a crisis of connection. The amount of time Americans spend alone has been increasing over the past decades, and the country’s deepening political and social divides mean we’re also spending less time with people who are different from us. I work at More in Common, a research organization using social psychology to examine drivers of our division and explore ways to bring people together. And studying these problems every day, I know that what I experienced abroad 10 years ago is needed more than ever today at home.
Our connections and relationships with one another are critical to flourishing communities. Yet we cannot take it for granted that these relationships form on their own, especially when many aspects of modern life can make it harder to connect with one another.
Our communities are as strong as the connections within them. So if we want stronger communities, we need to make connection a priority.
The good news? Our latest research shows it’s possible — with intentionality and adequate resources to cultivate a culture of connection.
This is where philanthropy comes in. If you’re investing in strong communities, then relationship-building — especially across differences between Americans — must be part of your strategy.
Here are three concrete ways funders can help:
Create more opportunities for connection. According to our research, Americans are most likely to say a lack of opportunity keeps them from connecting with others who are different from them. While connections can and do organically bloom, they’re more likely when space is intentionally created, like a garden, for them to take root.
Competition for our time and attention from life’s demands — ever-expanding work hours, family expectations, etc. — means fostering connection is harder. And, let’s be honest, scrolling social media or watching Severance on your couch can be more tempting than trying to meet new neighbors. That means we have to create opportunities, especially those that meet people where they are, to engage with each other. There’s a snowball effect to such efforts as well; our research shows that the more people think others value and are connecting across differences, the more likely they will want to do the same.
What does this look like for funders? Invest in local public spaces where people can gather, like libraries or parks. Trust for Public Land’s Common Ground Framework shows how parks can serve as catalysts for community-building, social connectedness, and civic action. The Levitt Foundation helps communities host free concerts to bring all types of residents together to enjoy a shared experience. They support expanding community engagement with iconic events like New York’s SummerStage to revitalizing public spaces in small and midsize towns with live music.
Requests you receive to sponsor a community event like a block party or festival? They are more than a branding opportunity — consider it part of fostering a culture of connection. This work also should empower individuals, not just organizations. Hinge gave $1 million to Gen Zers getting people together IRL in their community.
Fund capital projects? Support the design of physical places and environments that foster these opportunities.
Get people working together. When given a choice of how to engage with people different from themselves, Americans prefer working together toward a shared community goal. Yet that’s the activity they engage in the least — and likely for fair reasons like time and coordination. Research shows, however, that collaborating on meaningful work is one of the most effective ways to build trust and lasting relationships.
Two great examples:
- The Houston Food Bank, which aims to feed those in need and end food insecurity, brings together a diverse group of stakeholders over a series of Dining With Purpose dinners to discuss the issue. The meals have led to a host of actions after just one year. One participant organized a field trip in which students volunteered and learned about food insecurity, fostering empathy, and civic engagement. Conservative participants helped refine a nonprofit’s policy platform to ensure it resonated across political lines. A new community of mutual aid and collaboration has sprung to life.
- Lykins Neighborhood Association in Kansas City, Mo., grew from an effort to engage residents in revitalizing blighted homes. It grew from a handful of community members to a thriving, diverse group (on all counts) of 30 to 40 residents who, through collective action, created dozens of affordable housing units and organized community projects that reduced violent crime in the neighborhood.
Help people learn the skills to lead and thrive in a pluralistic society. Our research shows that Americans aren’t as fond of talking about group tensions as other ways of connecting. But a thriving pluralistic society depends on talking about and working through competing ideas, perspectives, and values.
We can’t assume people naturally have the skills to do this — or feel comfortable doing it. It can feel like being plopped into a new city without a map — you’re not sure where to go, it’s easy to make wrong turns, and suddenly you may find yourself in unsafe territory.
To broaden appeal, funders should invest in programs that frame discussions of group tensions as opportunities to equip people with the skills and confidence to navigate challenging differences — in essence, providing a GPS. The Constructive Dialogue Institute offers a suite of such programs on college campuses, and demand has skyrocketed. According to CDI, more than 80 percent of students who participate feel more confident having difficult conversations, and 73 percent are less politically polarized than before.
There also is opportunity to integrate these types of skills in established leadership programs, especially at the local level for faith leaders, government officials, teachers, and more.
Philanthropy’s Path Forward
If we want to build flourishing, pluralistic communities, we can no longer leave connection up to chance or just to virtual opportunities. Ten years ago, I was fortunate to have the support and funding to create a space where people had an opportunity to come together and build our Fi Ki Fὸ community. Now is the moment to create opportunities for connection, invest in ways for people to work together, and equip Americans with the skills to navigate our differences.
This isn’t just about bridging divides — it’s about recognizing our differences as a source of enrichment and building a society that works better, together.
The Commons is financed in part with philanthropic support from the Arthur M. Blank Family Foundation, Einhorn Collaborative, the Freedom Together Foundation (formerly the JPB Foundation), and the Walton Family Foundation. None of our supporters have any control over or input into story selection, reporting, or editing, and they do not review articles before publication. See more about the Chronicle, the grants, how our foundation-supported journalism works, and our gift-acceptance policy.
